The Fear of Rejection – How to Work with the Shame, Unworthiness, and Abandonment That Can Fuel It

Rejection can leave profound hurt in its wake.

And because this hurt can leave a lasting mark, it can keep clients stuck in fear, pain, and shame for years to come.

What’s worse, some people often turn to harmful avoidance strategies that not only create more anguish, but put them at even greater risk of being rejected.

Left untreated, a client’s fear of rejection can lead to withdrawal and isolation . . .

. . . and that can feed devastating feelings of loneliness and emptiness.

So how do we work with the isolating behaviors and hypersensitivity that can shrink our clients’ lives?

We turned to 24 of the world’s top experts to hear how they work with clients who are desperately afraid of being rejected. Here are the latest strategies you can use in your work today.

Working with the Fear of Rejection

The Most Common Factors That Drive Your Client’s Fear of Rejection (and How to Work with Them)

Peter Levine, PhD     Pat Ogden, PhD     Shelly Harrell, PhD

• 3 Specific Issues That Fuel a Client’s Fear of Rejection
• How to Work with a Fear of Rejection That Traps a Client in Chronic Self-Sabotage

How to Work with the Avoidance Strategies That Can Sustain Your Client’s Fear of Rejection

Dan Hill, PhD     Kelly McGonigal, PhD
Richard Schwartz, PhD     Deany Laliotis, LICSW

• How a Client’s Early Traumatic Experiences Might Impact Your Approach to Their Fear of Rejection
• How a Client’s Experiences Can Impact the Development of Avoidant Attachment
• One Key Question to Get at the Heart of Your Client’s Fear of Rejection

How to Work with Clients Who Equate Criticism with Rejection

Christine Padesky, PhD     Joan Borysenko, PhD     Ellyn Bader, PhD

• One Novel Approach to Help Clients Depersonalize Being Rejected
• Two Ways to Work with Clients Who Are Hypercritical or Rejecting of Themselves
• How to Help Clients Turn a Rejection Experience into an Affirmation of Their Core Values

How to Account for the Role of the Nervous System When Fears of Rejection Get Triggered

Deb Dana, LICSW     Kelly McGonigal, PhD
Resmaa Menakem, MSW, LICSW, SEP     Ron Siegel, PsyD
Laurel Parnell, PhD     Stephen Porges, PhD

• How to Help Clients Reinterpret Cues of Danger
• A Compassion-Based Technique for Working with Clients Who Are Afraid of Being Rejected

Key Strategies for Shifting a Client Out of a Rejection-Based Narrative

Ron Siegel, PsyD     Kelly Wilson, PhD     Rick Hanson, PhD

• One Powerful Strategy for Helping Clients Get “Unstuck” from a Rejection Mindset
• Key Practices Clients Can Use to Ground Themselves When They Feel Rebuffed or Rejected
• Appeasement – How Your Client Might Be Using It to Ward Off Rejection

How to Shift Clients Out of a Fear of Rejection

Bonnie Goldstein, PhD     Kelly McGonigal, PhD

• How to Work with a “False Self” Defense Against a Fear of Rejection
• A 3-Step Process for Working with the Avoidance and Shame That Often Fuels Rejection Fears

When Fear of Rejection Makes it Hard for Your Client to Set Healthy Boundaries

Lynn Lyons, LICSW     Terry Real, MSW, LICSW     Michael Yapko, PhD

• How to Help When a Client’s Fear of Rejection Leads Them to Tolerate Behavior They Know They Shouldn’t
• Clear, Concrete Boundary-Setting Language for Clients Who Are Afraid of Being Rejected
• Working with Rejection and Boundaries in Couples Therapy

How to Structure the Therapeutic Relationship More Strategically to Heal a Client’s Fear of Rejection

Miguel Gallardo, PsyD     Zindel Segal, PhD     Ron Siegel, PsyD

• 2 Key Elements to Consider in Building a Therapeutic Alliance with Clients Who Fear Rejection
• How to Tell When a Client’s Fear of Rejection Is Endangering the Therapeutic Alliance
• How to Mitigate a Client’s Fear That They’ll Be Rejected in Therapy

Register Here for $197

and get all the videos, audios, transcripts, learning tools, plus 3 bonuses
to help you work more effectively with a client’s fear of rejection

Up to 3.5 CE/CME Credits or Clock Hours are available for purchase at checkout.

Click HERE to get information about CE/CME credits and clock hours as well as speaker disclosures

For This Short Course on Expert Strategies for Working with the Fear of Rejection, We Brought Together Some of the Top Experts in the Field

PETER LEVINE, PHD

Founder of Somatic Experiencing; Author of Trauma and Memory: Brain and Body in a Search for the Living Past: A Practical Guide for Understanding and Working with Traumatic Memory.

PAT OGDEN, PHD

Pioneer in Somatic Psychology; Founder and Director of Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute (SPI); Co-founder of the Hakomi Institute; Author of Sensorimotor Psychotherapy: Interventions for Trauma and Attachment.

STEPHEN PORGES, PHD

Developer of Polyvagal Theory; Distinguished University Scientist at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University Bloomington and Research Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at University of North Carolina Chapel Hill.

SHELLY HARRELL, PHD

Licensed psychologist specializing in multicultural and community psychology; Professor of Psychology in the Graduate School of Education at Pepperdine University.

RICHARD SCHWARTZ, PHD

Founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and The Center for Self Leadership.

CHRISTINE PADESKY, PHD

Co-founder of the Center for Cognitive Therapy in Huntington Beach, California; Co-creator of Strengths-Based CBT; Co-author of Mind Over Mood and Collaborative Case Conceptualization.

JOAN BORYSENKO, PHD

Founder of Mind/Body Health Sciences LLC; Author of New York Times Bestseller Minding the Body, Mending the Mind.

RICK HANSON, PHD

Senior Fellow of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley; New York Times bestselling author of Hardwiring Happiness and Buddha’s Brain.

RON SIEGEL, PSYD

Assistant Professor of Psychology, part time, Harvard Medical School; Author of The Mindfulness Solution: Everyday Practices for Everyday Problems and Sitting Together: Essential Skills for Mindfulness-Based Psychotherapy.

KELLY MCGONIGAL, PHD

Health psychologist and lecturer at Stanford University; Author of The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You and How to Get Good At It and The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It.

STAN TATKIN, PSYD, MFT

Founder of the PACT Training Institute and developer of a Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT).

LYNN LYONS, LICSW

Author of Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry Cycle and Raise Courageous & Independent Children, clinical social worker and psychotherapist specializing in anxiety in adults and children.

ZINDEL SEGAL, PHD

A founder of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT); Professor of Psychology at the University of Toronto.

DEANY LALIOTIS, LICSW

Director of Training at EMDR Institute; Specialist in treatment of traumatic stress disorders and attachment issues; author of chapters and articles on EMDR therapy.

TERRY REAL, MSW, LICSW

Founder of the Relational Life Institute; author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression and The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work.

CHRISTOPHER WILLARD, PSYD

Psychologist and educational consultant specializing in mindfulness; president of the Mindfulness in Education Network; serves on the board of directors at the Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy.

MICHAEL YAPKO, PHD

Leading expert in clinical hypnosis and treating depression; Clinical psychologist and author of 15 books including his newest books, The Discriminating Therapist and Keys to Unlocking Depression.

BONNIE GOLDSTEIN, PHD

Founder and Director of the Lifespan Psychological Center; Co-author of Understanding, Diagnosing, and Treating AD/HD in Children and Adolescents.

MIGUEL GALLARDO, PSYD

Licensed Psychologist specializing in multicultural and social justice; Associate Professor at Pepperdine University’s Graduate School of Education and Psychology; author of Case Studies in Multicultural Counseling and Therapy.

DEB DANA, LCSW

Coordinator of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute; Developer of the Rhythm of Regulation Clinical Training Series; author of Polyvagal Theory in Therapy.

RESMAA MENAKEM MSW LICSW SEP

Expert on conflict and violence; Teacher of Cultural Somatics; Former Director of Counseling Services for the Tubman Family Alliance; Former Behavioral Health Director for African American Family Services in Minneapolis.

LAUREL PARNELL, PHD

Leading expert in Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR); Author of Attachment-Focused EMDR: Healing Relational Trauma.

KELLY WILSON, PHD

Co-author of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: An Experiential Approach to Behavior Change; Founder of OneLife Education Training, LLC.

ELLYN BADER, PHD

Co-creator of The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy; Co-director of The Couples Institute.

DANIEL HILL, PHD

Psychoanalyst, educator, and leading proponent of the affect regulation model; founder/director of PsyBC (1996-2014); his work focuses primarily on gaining in-depth understanding of the regulation of affect.

Course Director

Ruth Buczynski, PhD

Dr. Ruth Buczynski is a licensed psychologist and founder and president of The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICABM). NICABM helps physicians, nurses, psychologists, social workers, and counselors – practitioners who have some of the most significant and life-changing missions on the planet – provide cutting-edge, research-based treatment strategies to their patients. For more than 25 years, NICABM has offered accredited training and professional development programs to thousands of practitioners worldwide.